A blue child's hat was found in a 'progressive' New York neighborhood (Park Slope - maybe some New Yorkers can enlighten us), by a member of the Park Slope Parents e-mail forum who’d encountered a stray piece of winterwear in the neighborhood posted a notice to the group titled “Found: boy’s hat.â€
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Friday, at the corner of 11th street and 8th ave, adorable navy blue or maybe black fleece hat with triangles jutting out ofit of all different colors. Sorry did not post right away. For older child.
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Gulp. The female e-mailer (fe-mailer?)assumed: Blue hat = boy's hat.
You know that all hell was about to break loose:
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Helene,
I’m sorry, I know that you are just trying to be helpful, but what makes this a “boy’s hat� Did you see the boy himself loose it? Or does the hat in question possess an unmistakable scent of testosterone?
It’s innocent little comments like this that I find the most hurtful…
What does this comment imply about the girl who chooses to wear just such a hat (or something like it)? Is she doing something wrong? Is there something wrong with her?
Lisa
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The next email takes offense with Lisa's highly developed sensibilities:
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Lisa,
Its emails like yours that drive me up the wall! Is it that you have so much time on your hands that you can take the time to make such a comment. The original poster was just trying to do something nice and return a lost item to someone. If it was my hat I wouldt care if she posted it as a dogs hat found Id just be happy to get it back.
Since it was obviously not your “boys†hat then there really was no reason for you to write other that to make sure that everyone complies to your PC view of life.
What does the fact that you felt the need to post this comment say about you?
Trina
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Helene, the offender, then apologizes. Then Abbey gets in on the action:
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It’s emails which try to suppress all matter of interesting dialogue which are my pet peeve.
I appreciated Lisa’s email very much and I am glad she wrote it. I imagine it has nothing to do with some rigid standard of “PC†which led her to post her response.
I know that many people like to think they are beyond these issues and that sexism doesn’t apply to them, but truthfully it is alive and well. “Rambuctious†girls are still “punished†for the same actions which for “active†boys are not. Boys are still noted more for their math skills, even when there are girls in the same class who are equally skilled. I’ve witnessed it first hand. The emphasis on how a girl should look and dress and act is much stronger than it was when I was a kid, and frankly it’s very oppressive to a girl who doesn’t fit or want to fit “the mold.â€
Lisa’s post could have led to an interesting discussion about sexism, marketing, gender neutral child-rearing (does it work?), education- how can we encourage and develop styles of playing and games which enhance girls skills and love of math and science? Why is it that society is suddenly obsessing about how boys are falling behind in reading? Are they really and is it a function of sexism that everyone cares so much about the sucess of boys when girls have been shut out of math and sciences for decades? Doesn’t it rebalance in middle school and high school when boys pick up speed and girls start dumbing down so that they can be cute for the boys? And what about puberty itself, how does that effect academic success?
I could go on and I hope I have provoked someone out there into a more interesting conversation than what to buy and where to buy it.
Abbey
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The whole thread is too long to post here, but you can read it
here.
Here some more choice quotes:
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Helene:
I’m sorry but, HOW DO YOU KNOW it’s for an older child? What does this say about younger children who happen to have large heads? Is something wrong with them??
Some people had a sense of humor. Number 1
LOL. And along those lines, how do really know this is a “hat� Doesn’t this just speak to our conventional understanding of what a “hat†really is?
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...and number 2
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Look — everyone stop ! ! !
It is my hat, OK? I’m a 42 year-old man and I like wearing little boy’s and girl’s hats, as long as they have little triangles on them. In fact I’m pretty much fixated on all kinds of triangles. Gosh, what a great shape. Three sides!
It’s my pathetic little obsession, and yes I’m seeing a shrink about it. OK? I’m sorry I dropped my little hat. I miss those triangles so.
Helene, can I have my hat back please and can everyone stop speculating that I might be a little boy or little girl? I’m sad now.
Ben
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LMAO! -or- Thank God I Don't Live In New York
04-11-2006, 12:56 PM
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